I've struggled with physical problems all my life. When I was in high school, I came home one day knowing I had done something to my back in Physical Ed. I could hardly move. That was my first experience with back problems, but certainly not the last.
Later, after a 12-hundred mile drive while moving several states away, I was nearly paralyzed. I could hardly get up out of a chair and I couldn't stand straight. I couldn't straighten out my legs in bed but would double them up, and I couldn't get comfortable and experienced excruciating pain.
Around that time, my mother came to visit me and she said she was praying for me. I went to a prayer meeting with her and they laid hands on me, but I didn't receive an immediate healing and I was SO disappointed. I cried out to the Lord -I had 2 small children by now to take care of and I told Him that I didn't believe he wanted me to stay in this condition. Eventually I was healed, but it took a long time of prayer and believing. I never resigned myself to this being my "cross." We have enough trials in our lives, and I expect them to come, but I believe those are only there to strengthen our faith as it's put to the test. We really do become stronger from our trials, just as Scripture says.
After I had my healing, I was still occasionally attacked. One time, I was ironing very leisurely and suddenly I felt like someone had stabbed me in the back. Maybe Satan did, but whatever, I rebuked it and refused to believe that I was not healed. It went away shortly after and I remembered where Scripture says that if you resist Satan, he will flee from you. I was beginning to accept the fact that we're in warfare whether we like it or not, and that we just have to involve ourselves in the fight.
Later, I started a new job and there was another attack on my back during my first week of work. I walked out to the parking lot and started to faint from the pain. It really drains you. I cried out to the Lord in exasperation and told Him that I couldn't have this, that I was just starting out on a new job and that it seemed that every time I tried to move forward, I got slapped in the face by something bad. I absolutely refused to accept it and the next morning .....I WAS FINE! I had NEVER recovered from an attack so quickly, and to this day I have never had another of those attacks to my back.
But ...I had other physical problems. I had stomach problems and became frustrated and depressed because my experience was not validating my faith, and I asked God why He was allowing me to go on and on in defeat. He spoke to me one day, so clearly that I had absolutely no doubt, and said that the trial of my faith was more precious than gold TO HIM. He showed me that if I would flex the muscles of my faith, not only would I see victory, but this walk will be precious TO HIM. It means everything to God when we are faithful to use our faith after he has spoken to us what his direction in any circumstance is, rather than just pay lip service to his word. We can say all kinds of things about God and his mighty works, but how can we convince anyone if we never prove it to be true in our own lives?
And so, I've learned to fight my battles with spiritual weapons, not only in health areas but in every area of life. I feel that in experiencing what I have, I've captured something so valuable that I want the whole world to know! There's a real ART to fighting the fight of faith. The reason we don't see more of God's works in our lives is not because we're "bad," but because of our unbelief. Scripture says "Through faith and patience" we inherit the promises of God," and "without faith it is impossible to please Him."
Cindy J
California
References:
"Through faith and patience..." Hebrews 6:12
"Without faith it is impossible to please him..." Hebrews 11:6
No comments :
Post a Comment